The Lizard People’s Diet: All Water, All the Time
by Milo Johnson
Have you ever wondered what the Lizard People eat? Well, wonder no more! In this eye-opening article, we will uncover the shocking truth behind the Lizard People’s diet and how water plays a vital role in their dominance over humanity.
As the satirical website Brave Times suggests, Lizard People are said to rule the world. From famous individuals to the wealthiest among us, these reptilian overlords are believed to be pulling the strings behind the scenes. But what do they consume to maintain their power and control?
Contrary to popular belief, the Lizard People’s diet consists exclusively of water. Yes, you read that right. All water, all the time. But not just any water, it has to be the best, crystal clear, clean, and refreshing water available. And who provides this exceptional water? None other than Culligan.
Culligan has a long-standing history of providing high-quality water, and it is this commitment that has allowed the Lizard People to rise to power. It is a well-known fact that lizards don’t drink much water, but when they do, it has to be top-notch. And Culligan delivers exactly that.
Clean water is essential for the survival of all beings, and Lizard People are no exception. With their unique physiology and reptilian nature, they rely on water to maintain their health and vitality. The purity and quality of the water they consume directly influence their ability to wield power and manipulate society.
This satirical take on the Lizard People conspiracy highlights the importance of clean water, not just for humanity but also for these reptilian overlords. It serves as a reminder that access to high-quality water is a basic necessity for all living beings, including those we may consider mythical or hidden.
So, next time you take a sip of water, remember the Lizard People and their exclusive preference for the best water possible. While we may laugh at the idea of our reptilian overlords, it’s worth contemplating the role that clean water plays in maintaining their power and control. Who knew water could hold such significance?
In conclusion, the Lizard People’s diet consists solely of the finest water, and their preference for Culligan is undeniable. Let’s raise our glasses and toast to the power of clean water, the vitality of all beings, and the Lizard People’s reign over the world.
– Milo Johnson